“MAYBE YOU JUST NEED A NAP: A Retort.”

DEAR ROOKIES,

As a veteran of the music industry, let me give you a little advice: FIND ANOTHER CAREER PATH. YOU DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING CHOPS TO MAKE IT HERE.

If you’re gonna be so incensed at the subjectively perceived slights from NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT IT, that you have to attack and slander somebody you barely know, YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE THIS INDUSTRY. IT’S TIME TO GET INTO SMARTPHONE SALES. (I hear there are plenty of mall kiosks available, all across America.)

Or, in other words: GROW THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING CRYBABIES.

Ohhhh, you flipped everything to be there??? You missed French Montana??? You didn’t get to play patty cake at the Fader Fort??? Oh no!!! YAWN.

BOO-FUCKING-HOO.

IT’S SXSW. IT’S A SHIT SHOW BY DESIGN.

YOU SHOULDN’T BE THROWING TEMPER TANTRUMS LIKE A 2 YEAR OLD AT YOUR ONLY SXSW SHOW THE WHOLE WEEK, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU TURNED DOWN PLAYING THE SLOT THAT WAS OPEN AND RESERVED FOR YOU AND AVAILABLE AT THE TIME SPECIFIED.

YOU FUCKED IT UP, NOT ME, GM.

GROW UP.

As far as the personal attacks from King BlowJ on me? Fucking whatever, dude. Call me all the names you want on the fucking interwebbe. If you got the balls to come down and say it to my fucking face, then we’ll go from there, but if I lost my shit every time some asshole didn’t like me, I wouldn’t be here. So what am I to do now because some hack shitbag penned a frustrated blog entry in the ill-advised, contritely noble attempt at defending a friend who threw a hissy fit befitting an 7th grade girl in front of a lot of industry people, who’ve all brought it up to me since?

I’m supposed to be embarrassed?

I’m supposed to cower in fear?

I’m supposed to explain myself?

GO FUCK YOURSELF.

How’s that for an explanation?

You happy? Everything ok? You want me to warm you up a baba? You need a blankie? You wanna take a nap with Nana?

The real pressing concern you should have is EXPLAINING TO EVERYONE EXACTLY WHO THE ‘GARBAGE’ IS that you referenced in your letter. You didn’t really think that one through, did ya? Didn’t realize that you threw a little back-handed, passive aggressive diss at an easily identifiable time block of performers in yr little self-righteous rant. Well here you go homeboy. Here’s the list of artists you dissed. Please show me what it is to have courage and honesty, which I so seemingly lack according to you, and properly identify which of the following artists are the ‘Garbage’ that you spoke of:

Open Mike Eagle
Psalm One
Child Actor
Curly Castro
Prem Rock
Willie Green
Verbs

And don’t worry, I’ll make sure to @ this at every artist on this list so they can make sure to get some closure and/or meds, and deal with the life-changing pangs of terror and panic that come from some no-name jerk blog dissing them. Have fun crossing those burning bridges, dunce.

What a fucking joke.

Sincerely,

MFHATER

P.S. Oh, for the record. It was a one man show. I did everything at it. You think you can do what I do with no corporate sponsorship, no money, no team backing you up, all out of your own pocket for zero profit? Have at it, stud. I look forward to coming to your SXSW showcase next year. Maybe call it the ‘Fuck The MFHATER Dinner Party’ or something real keen, bro.